What love is, what love is not. 

After some recent observations I feel like I need to state the obvious. I’m no expert on relationships but I do recognize what’s healthy and what is not. It’s time to start being honest with yourself…

“Love” is NOT: 

1. Controlling each other

2. Making you cry every week

3. Questioning your worth because of him/her

4. Sleepless nights

5. Anxiety

6. Disrespecting each other

7. Verbal/physical/psychological abuse

8. Expensive dates and gifts

9. Expressive/bragadocious social media posts

10. Having mental breakdowns over unanswered phone calls and texts

11. Reminding them you’re a priority

12. Calling each other names

13. Half ass apologies with no actions

14. Being crazy, no matter how much Twitter tries to normalize your psychotic behaviors, it ain’t cute

15. Airing your dirty laundry via social media (subtweeting)

16. Fighting in public, ya know like at the table with friends

17. Seeking revenge. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

18. Wishing they would change constantly

19. Talking badly/gossiping about them, to anyone who will listen

20. One person always being right

21. Avoiding your partner

22. Keeping secrets

Love is

1. Being truly kind to each other

2. Having differing opinions/disagreements and working through them in private

3. Expressing your gratitude for them IN PERSON/over text/phone call

4. Caring for one another

5. Honoring your partner

6.  Compromising

7. Selflessness

8. Understanding their side

9. Supporting each other emotionally/physically

10. Appreciating him/her

11. Alone time(together or taking personal space for yourself)

12. Being yourself

13. Feeling cherished

14. Fighting fairly

15. Taking responsibility when you’re wrong

16. Passion

17. Being comfortable

18. Apologizing and taking action

19. Patience

20. RESPECTING EACH OTHER

It’s actually possible to have a productive relationship with maturity and genuine kindness to one another.

Xoxo,

Julia

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